Do you have a case of FOMO?
I am in a really wonderful group where I get top notch business coaching. I just spent three days in Stamford, Connecticut at a gathering of these and many more like-minded entrepreneurs, planning out the next year for my business.
As is the case with many of these events, there were multiple opportunities to go deeper with my program, sign up for other really wonderful programs, and commit to a new program that would give me significantly more access to my coach.
It was at a similar event in the spring that I first signed up for my current group program and walked away a little scared but deeply inspired and motivated.
I carried that energy through the following months and found myself a student of three different irresistible courses–and a bit overcommitted in time and money.
So this last week, I found myself in a conversation about why joining the “elite” level of my current program was the next logical step for me.
I will admit that this shiny object was tempting, and I understood the argument that joining it would engage the powers of the Universe in helping me create the resources needed to pay for and participate in this program. I get it. I have made momentous decisions in my life that have led to a great deal of “magic” supporting those decisions.
As I considered taking this leap and I saw a few others around me taking it, I realized that I was dealing with a real case of FOMO: Fear of Missing Out.
And I had to take a deep breath and really listen to myself and what message this experience had for me. I have actually had a life-long case of FOMO.
From joining almost every club in high school to attempting to serve every type of client in my business (until recently), I have spread myself far too thin, time and time again.
As an introvert, I have been totally exhausted by this tendency to say YES for fear of missing out on great opportunities. In the past I have manifested injury, illness, and debt from constantly being in a state of “YES.”
So the opportunity I took last week was the opportunity to trust myself and say, “Not now.”
In my circles, where the thing-to-do is stretch yourself and break through mental barriers, saying “no” feels taboo sometimes. We are taught how to have sales conversations and address objections and help our potential clients release resistance that may be holding them back from pursuing their dreams.
As a web designer, I have talked numerous entrepreneurs through their doubts about putting themselves out there on and offline. As an intuitive, I have also learned to respect the boundaries of those for whom the timing is not right. As we say, “My level of commitment cannot exceed theirs.”
I also look to nature for cues on growth and expansion. If living things had no limitations on growth, our planet would be a miserable, tangled mess of giants and kudzu-like plants. There is a time for everything. A time for expansion, and then a time for integration and grounding. Knowing and acting on the appropriate time for both leads to sustainable long term growth.
Right now, I am integrating and grounding what I have learned in the last few months.
I have given myself permission to say, “Not now.”
Some (who don’t see the big picture of my life) may call it limiting myself.
I call it self-care, rooted in self-trust, and ultimately, self-love.
So, if you need permission to say “no” today, here it is:
You don’t have to take every job/opportunity/client that comes your way.
You don’t have to say YES to everything.
You CAN set your own limits.
You owe it to yourself to ground and integrate new experiences and knowledge before embracing even newer ones.
That, I believe, leads to sustainable growth.
Have you set limits recently in your life or business? Did you find it easy to come back around to a place of “Yes” when it was appropriate for you? I’d love to hear your story!
Love. I understand and honor your choice.